A few weeks back, Em, my closest female friend asked me to be her Maid of Honour for her wedding next spring — of course I was absolutely delighted and honoured she had asked me at all. As the weeks have slowly ticked onward and I have been trawling haphazardly through various wedding blog’s I realised I actually don’t know much about weddings. There’s actually loads of extra stuff the romance novelists and Hollywood directors leave out! There’s like a gazillion events like dinners and parties (pre-wedding) that I’m at a loss of what happens when etc.
The whole confusion got me to thinking when I had imagined my own big day I had always focused on the ceremony itself. I had not really given much thought to the other stuff… apart from the hen party and the honeymoon and the other aesthetic features I wanted, I then determined this was probably the soul reason for my own ignorance on the topic. Oh well.
Em and Matt (her fiancé) are so good for each other, and compliment each other perfectly. I had always known that the couple were built to last, when Matt had told me his plans to propose my first immediate thought, I admit, was “but you guys are SO young” Em and I are 20 and Matt is a 21 but then I kinda realised that I couldn’t imagine either of them with another person, and as they’ve been in a relationship for so long already live together it is the logical next step on the commitment ladder. Plus I always respected them both for doing it properly the old fashioned way – marriage then babies. I don’t know about you, reader, but I find I know many many young single mothers now many of whom are my own age, and some of them having multiple candidates for the childs’ biological father, which is kinda sad really.
I’ve kinda scratched out a little timeline of when I would roughly like to settle down and begin a family and I have a target to do so in a number of years. Ideally, as a 20 year old I think the perfect time to settle down and marry is about 25 years old and adding children to our family? A minimum of a year after tying the knot. I have chosen those numbers for my own personal reasons, I finish Uni in two years and want to build my career before becoming a wife and mother as I know that I would have to take time out of the field when starting a family. I also believe that a couple should be engaged a year before tying the knot and should live together before that. I believe its a gradual process — you need to make sure you can stand each other before getting babies involved!
Thinking about it, am I asking too much? Am I too particular? Is it really right to plan that meticulously? I’m not sure. Though for all my plans and ponderings the one really crucial question is; Am I a hypocrite, if my BF proposed out of the timeline or whilst we were still young would I accept? the answer is simply yeah, to both points.
It’s amazing when you find that person who completes you and makes you feel both whole and secure. He is the yang to my ying. And I know no matter what order I’ve compartmentalised my family life If he asked in a day a year or 4 years the answer would be the same. And nothing else matters.